With all the items in the news about the status of supply management in Canada, I’m sure there are many poultry, egg and dairy participants who are hoping that Santa might have something in his bag of gifts to save their protected agricultural system. Here’s an example of what one of those letters might look like:
My name is Carolynne and I want to tell you how much I believe in you. I also want to tell you that I should definitely be on your ‘Nice’ list this year. I have defended my friend, Harry and supported him even though it might have been smarter not to defend him, resulting in an improved egg producer’s position by not defending him. Now there might be others who would put me on the ‘Naughty’ list this year. Please don’t listen to them. They’re the same folks that are telling the judges that I have been playing a little too much with two of my other friends, Bill and Joe.
I have a couple of questions for you too. Can you spare some of the magic flying powder that you use on the reindeer? I sure could use some so that I can fly away from the pending lawsuit that hovers over the EFO. In the meantime, maybe I’ll simply announce that I won’t stand for election to next year’s Board of Directors.
Second, what do you do with the reject toys that the elves make? I’m looking for a spot to get rid of a bunch of cracked eggs. I’ve heard that my friend Bill gets rid of his cracked eggs by mixing them in with the Grade A eggs but some people seem to frown on that practice. If you can’t suggest a better location, I’ll check with my friends at Farm Products Marketing Commission. It may take them a year or two to answer my request, but I won’t give up. I’m sure they won’t ignore me like they have other folks that have asked for their help and direction.
I’ll be sure to leave some eggnog out for you on Christmas Eve. On second thought, I better come up with an alternative as the milk and eggs in eggnog are extremely expensive here in Canada, thanks to supply management. Maybe next year, the prices for these will be less and I’ll feel that I’m better able to share them in your Christmas Eve snack. Thanks for all your help Santa.
One of the faithful believers,